pompadoured
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pulling things over:
April 2, 2007
i watched borat last night, and my bike got stolen off of my patio.
there is a part in the borat outtakes where he is in a grocery store and walks down an aisle of cheese and asks the supermarket guy what every individual item of cheese is. it goes something like this:
"and what is this?"
"cheese."
"and this?"
"cheese."
"and this is rice?"
"no, it is cheese."
"and this is?"
"cheese."
this goes on for five minutes, until he reaches the butter, and does the same thing. and then he moves on to milk.
my patio is behind a eight foot high wooden fence, which is behind a six foot iron fence that surrounds my building. i have no gate into my patio area. the person who stole my bike found a ladder, scaled my eight foot fence, and somehow got my bike over the eight foot fence without waking me up. our window was unlocked.
borat makes a lot of interesting points about american culture.
at one time my life was very religious. my problem with the christian religion is this: most people don't consider belief in another type of god. most christians shit on things like greek myth, and fail to realize that their belief in an all-knowing all-powerful being who controls nature and man is equally outrageous as a belief in a group of all-knowing all-powerful people who control nature and man.
i live in texas. in the inner loop of houston, where houston actually exists. it is small, and i can walk or ride a bike to most places i care about. i rode my bike to the biggest liquor store in texas, which is four blocks away, and bought beer and wine and cheese there.
i own a gun. the person who stole my bike, had they decided to break into my home, i would have shot and killed them.
borat wasn't as funny as i thought it would be, but on an artistic level, removed from plot, it was smart and engaging. sacha baron cohen presented an art film as a hollywood movie, and everyone in america enjoyed it, even though it fundamentally shit on regular people who do not critically analyze their surroundings and lead bleak unexamined lives that are probably more satisfying than my own.
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my mom used to live right around the corner from where you live now. her house was broken into by the skinniest thief in the world. they managed to slither between security bars raised about four inches off the ac unit in the window. they cut the crap out of themself and bled everywhere but managed to steal around five thousand dollars worth of stuff, most notably all the jewelry my now deceased great grandmother had given my mom as heirlooms. we scoured pawn shops in the area for weeks but never recovered a single piece.
- andy / April 2, 2007 1:27 PM
Bike n' Borat!
- Scott / April 3, 2007 11:55 AM
...Sorry to hear about your bike, but for what it's worth a friend of mine just had her $6.99 potted plant stolen off the 3rd story balcony...I guess that's life in the big city...
:)
- jackie / April 6, 2007 5:31 PM
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