pompadoured
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sudden death:
June 6, 2007
today i ate a hot sauce called "sudden death hot sauce" with my sandwich at lunch.
it was painful, and i regret trying it as much as i regret anything else.
i thought that, while i was eating my sandwich and almost crying, and then i thought about how people probably look back on their lives and regret things they have done, and that eating a stupid hot sauce probably isn't one of those things that people look back on and regret. i will probably not look back and regret eating "sudden death hot sauce".
i cannot name my regrets without having some sort of ' i need to think of something to regret right now so people will think that i am thoughtful' feeling. i just tried to think of my regrets. i don't regret anything that much. i am alright with the bad things i have done, even the things that i wouldn't write on this blog. i haven't hidden anything from the people i care about, so i do not feel bad.
when i have cellphone cancer in the future, and a bad heart and lung, i will be okay, and not regret the mexican food i ate last night, or the pot i smoked seven years ago, or that time i did whip-its and looked at a stupid black light poster for like a day, or the cancer-causing minutes on my cellphone talking to my mom.
it's a cliche to 'have no regrets', so i am just that cliche. i don't regret being a cliche. i am not someone important, or some future important person, so it is okay to be that. i have already considered my irrelevance, and place importance on it.
when the cab dropped me off at home last night, and i realized that the cab driver knew where he was going and what he was doing, with a large amount of competence, i realized the importance of being an unimportant and competent person, and that made every mistake i have ever had feel small and stupid, because i am competent and unimportant, and there is no importance in my mistakes, only things i have experienced that have made me more competent. i am never eating a hot sauce named "sudden death hot sauce" again.
comments
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i don't regret reading about your lack of regrets. i agree that if you have to think hard about whether you regret anything, that's a good thing.
- rio / June 6, 2007 8:54 PM
Well, at least you don't have to worry about ulcers.
- Sabra / June 7, 2007 3:56 PM
I'd rather not think of something witty. I doubt it would matter, but I would like to comment in the hopes that you'll keep writing. Because I like to read it.
- emh / June 29, 2007 3:11 PM
i want to know about this hot sauce that almost killed you. by both eliciting thoughts of regret as well as putting you in mortal danger i am immediately interested in it. homer had a similar experience with wiggams hot chili see.
- samir / July 4, 2007 12:49 AM
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