pompadoured
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i wrote this last week, and nothing in this post applies anymore:
July 16, 2007
i'm listening to axis bold as love by jimi hendrix on repeat, and i hate a lot of the songs. i have the capability to hate and enjoy things at the exact same time, and i'm not exactly sure why this combination, hate and enjoyment, somehow exceeds, emotionally, the feeling i get when i actually care and love something.
i like doing housework. i feel good when i talk shit. i sometimes think about the consequences in my own life if i were to do something morally reprehensible.
when you come from a well-off, caring family, and when you are looked at as a progression of your family, when you reach my age, which is twenty-six, and you have not strayed from the family line, you will not stray from the family line. i go to bed at ten and i wake up at five-thirty or so. i work eight hours a day. i rarely write anymore. i like silence. i rushed home today so i could get dinner started for some friends. i cleaned the grill and made the bed. i am excited about going to the country this weekend.
justin taylor's apocalypse book and resident evil came in one order from amazon. everything i do and buy is in a neat package now.
when i was eleven or so i got a super nintendo for christmas. i played it for a few days, and realized that i was never going to play my regular nintendo again. i spent the next couple of days giving away every single original nintendo game i owned. i'm pretty sure i caught shit over it from somebody authoritative, but it made me feel good.
it's okay to be a little illogical if it makes sense to you.
i like flipping-out and not making any sense.
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Reading this helped me feel better about myself. I've been testing my own engrained beliefs more and more lately taking chances on trying my conscience with different obstacles. It hasn't been easy, but I feel older now, and somehow...sweeter, now that I've been to some places I don't want to go back to. It's probably complicated if it's not just really simple to people who've done the same thing.
- Sabra / July 18, 2007 3:05 PM
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